Multigenerational living at Malhar - On balancing privacy and independence while enabling connections
What does a typical morning in a Malhar home look like? The ajji, slowly moving towards the kitchen with one hand on the hallway handrail, all ready to make the morning coffee or tea? The working parents swiftly making dosas and packing lunchboxes while chatting with their teenager about upcoming group study sessions or while fielding that quick office call? The thatha on the lounge chair with newspaper opened up to the sudoku page while the toddler scatters building blocks across the living room floor? If this is the picture that you conjured up, then it's probably because many of us at Malhar are fortunate enough to be living in a multi-generational household. It's chaotic, it's fulfilling, and it requires a multifunctional home designed for many lives and lifestyles to co-exist, and thrive together. And the key to this, most of us have figured out, is ensuring a fine balance between privacy, independence and connection.
So, what kind of family are you? One that values doing everything together or one that prefers space and independence? Or like most of us, maybe a bit of both?
The typology of the house
Some of us prefer having a single level home that enables every member of the family to freely move around the house and not feel disconnected from each other. Some siblings actually want to room together; at other times, the child of the family is extremely attached to one or both of the grandparents and prefers to be in their room. Some kids may request their own space to pursue their often loud or messy hobbies, some working adults need to escape the family shenanigans for office calls or meditative moments off the radar. Sometimes, illness may make an elderly adult need more peace and quiet than usual.
Families will have to think deeply and with empathy about how each person within the family functions and plan their home accordingly. For instance a multi-floor home works for some, while others may prefer a single sprawling apartment like those in Cadence. Those who want the connection but prefer to maintain separate households may have gone for ground floor and walk up homes in the same building like some of the homes in Medley, or perhaps they may prefer adjoining flats in the same apartment block. Or maybe the Ochre townhouses with private lifts might be the solution that some families opt for.
Making a home that adapts to everything and everyone
Most of us joke that Malhar is like Hotel California referenced in the Eagles song, no one who enters seems to leave. That’s because here’s where we’ve found the forever home we’ve been looking for- and most of us have every intention to stay put even when our lifestyles and life stages change.
And it’s not just for the sake of the family members who live with us full time, like the aging parent or the growing teenager. It is also about making it comfortable for the favourite uncle abroad who comes to see you every winter break, or the nieces who come over to spend quality time with your kids during the summer holidays, or the relative who needs to stayover while recuperating after a surgery in Bengaluru. We anticipate the needs of our families and friends and prepare our homes for such possibilities
Yet enabling connection and comfort while ensuring privacy is a fine balancing act. This is why it makes sense to think long and hard about decisions like setting up a kitchenette in the upstairs family room, or investing in furniture and fixtures that enable accessibility while not looking institutional, or automating the home so that personal preferences around temperature and lighting can be managed conveniently. And all this without sacrificing the feeling of connection that your home brings to the people who occupy it.
These thoughts surely bring home the point that the right space isn't about size alone, it's about thoughtful design that honours each generation's needs, interests and independence while nurturing the connections that make living together not just viable, but genuinely enriching. After all, our homes need to adapt to everyone's needs-from the wheelchair-bound grandmato the toddling little nephew.
Coming up: More thoughts on how to make intergenerational living easier and more fulfilling while pursuing interests, together and independently.